My name is Mary and I attended an 8 week program of PlaySteps with my 10 month old son, Harry. When I came into the program I was extremely distressed as I had separated from my partner in the early stages of pregnancy, and suffered extreme loss from this relationship as I believed it was a harmonious and committed one. My partner did not plan and did not want to have a child, and I was sure I had discussed the possibility of children early in our relationship. I was devastated throughout the pregnancy and had no feelings of a bond with my unborn child and this continued even after he was born.
Through the PlaySteps program I have been able to show my love for Harry after feelings of enormous guilt as I felt I could not give Harry any love due to my circumstances. I did not feel an attachment to him at all. The staff within the PlaySteps team have been wonderful throughout, and have greatly helped me with not only my guilt at not bonding with my child, but also with the breakdown in my relationship. They were very caring and looked after Harry while I spoke with them about my failed relationship. There was never any judgement and they let me speak and listened to what I had to say. This was a great comfort to me, as I often left Harry on the mat and sort out staff to talk to. The staff spoke to me about my relationship with Harry, and let me know that they saw a natural attachment to him even though I did not realise this. They discussed family goals with me to help me feel that natural bond with Harry.